Sunday, April 1, 2012

Announcement: No more starship gaming

OK, people.  I've been giving this a lot of thought lately, and after a mandatory twenty-six-hour voluntary spiritual audit by the elders of my church, I have decided to quit starship gaming.

The decision is personal, but I will just say that after sleep deprivation, bright lights, and enhanced baptismal techniques, the church fathers have convinced me that the idea of spaceships contradicts the Bible's description of the Earth as the center of the universe.  They also don't like the concept of a globular world.

Later this week, I will be melting down all my spaceships as instruments of the devil.  I am switching to only church-approved wargaming, which does not allow the use of dice (random results = games of chance = gambling = sin = damnation).  I thought I might be allowed to play chess, but as that game contains the taint of Catholicism (with its bishops and such), I will be wargaming with checkers from now on.

8 comments:

Don M said...

and a very happy April first to you too...)

Sean Robson said...

Ha Ha Ha. You're about as likely to give up starships as breathing.

Surprisingly, this is the first April Fool's post I've read yet today.

Martin said...

Haha! Good one! :D

Jason said...

See, I knew it was a goof because Hell hadn't frozen over. :p

Laughing Ferret said...

Fun post!
But how do you save your soul if not allowed to roll for it? ;)

Lead Legion said...

Lol. Flying Pigs in the sky couldn't have convinced me you were giving this up, but great post. You had me in stitches.

J Womack, Esq. said...

Oh please. No one would have bought this for a second.

EastwoodDC said...

More likely you would corrupt the Elders to your evil ways. Carry on! :-)